The black man suffers from a hyper-maternal bond. He calls his closest friends his "boys," and his place of residence his "crib."
But these things translate into a skewed relationship dynamic in the black "community" because the black man also allows his woman to refer to him as baby, babe or bae (believed to be short for baby).
We can all agree that James Evans from the 70's hit show, Good Times was the epitome of a strong, black, man's man. Now did Florida ever call him baby, babe or bae? Not to my recognition. It would go against his character.
The truth of the matter is that there's binding power in naming. When your woman calls you baby, she's establishing psychological dominance over you. The same dominance a mother has over her child.
Women take care of babies. Women spank babies (usually what incites domestic violence charges against black men). Yet, black men (in general) have been socialized to submit to the psychological abuse for years.
More than 70% of black households being headed by single mothers is the culprit--it creates a matriarchal setting, causing men to cognitively associate all women with the one woman that WAS appointed to rear him.
However, you're on the road to being an established man, and your woman should refer to you as King, Lord or god (small case 'g'). And if this seems like a radical position, then you haven't cut the cord yet. Stop talking to your mom for a few months or even years (depending on the severity of your mamma's boy-ism) and watch your entire perspective on women and dating change.
To aid you in this tough decision, here are 5 reasons why.
1. YOUR MOM HAS NEVER BEEN A MAN BEFORE
Her advice on man-hood is about as reliable as your advice on handling menstrual cramps. She can't walk you through any car repair or home renovation projects. Even if you don't have a father or father figure, there's always Google or YouTube--and til' this day I haven't seen anyone's mom do a "How To" video featuring her dropping a transmission.
Her job was to to give birth to you and rear you. Her job is done, and it shouldn't have high recognition because mothers do it everyday. Stop giving people credit for doing what they're supposed to do because it's being transferred over to black females. They're getting praised for having their own house, car, job (independence) BUT IT'S WHAT RESPONSIBLE ADULTS DO EVERY DAY!
2. YOUR MOM WILL NEVER RESPECT YOU
...and rightfully so.
Respecting you wasn't in her job description.
You'll always be her baby boy, so for you to become accustom to being addressed in respect, stop talking to women that don't respect you; starting with your mom.
3. YOUR MOM CAN ONLY KISS THE BOO BOOS
The evolution of man-hood is bound by the constraints of time, and the bumps and bruises a man gets along the way are all part of the process. Struggle should not be a conscious choice, but strength is built by overcoming resistance; leading is simply doing it first or making your own path.
However, your mom will direct you down the path of least resistance with her nurturing advice. Her primary concern is protecting her "baby" not molding your man-hood.
4. YOUR MOM ISN'T YOUR RESPONSIBILITY
She's your father's responsibility.
She's your mother and will always be your mother, so it is your responsibility to honor her, NOT to protect and lead her.
She gave birth to you...where can you possibly lead her?
In order for you to be a leader you need to leave her.
Divorce your mom, because she'll always come second after you take a wife so start practicing husbandry right now.
If you feel the need to protect, provide and lead your mom, it simply means your daddy aint worth a damn--and in that case, it's her responsibility to find a suitable mate to replace him.
HER PROBLEM, NOT YOURS
5. BLACK WOMEN HAVE DEVELOPED SUPERIORITY COMPLEXES
We've all heard the responses when calling out black female nonsense, it tends to be along the lines of, "You must hate your mom" --"Tell that to your mom" -- "The way a man treats you is the way he treats his mamma"
Cut the crap.
What would possess a female that has done absolutely nothing for YOU to think that she's in the same category as the woman that gave birth and raised you?
Most black people can reference being raised by a mother, but unfortunately, most of those mothers weren't wives. This skews the perception of roles in the minds of black males and females on the dating scene. As a result, black males are holding black females to mamma standards instead of wife standards. If you're interested in her finances, her degrees, her resources etc, that means you're NOT looking for a wife, you're looking for a mamma to take care of you. This dynamic is so prevalent in the black "community" that most black females feel entitled to positions in your life that they haven't earned and aren't qualified for. Cutting off your mom will allow you to categorize and deal with women accordingly, without any type of maternal bias.
CUT THE CORD!